ARE YOU BUYING ME? REALLY?

So a friend's comment on my facebook wall  made me realize a lot about how the whole concept of lobola has evolved from the primitive to our day society. What hit me was,ah every woman gotta love those primitive days where a man and his family would come with brewed beer,goats,seeds and cattle (danga) to ask for her hand in marriage..Oh such a sign of love and long life matrimonial union.They used to say we marry the womb , but did women complain? No because she was predestined to bear life in her womb and it was every woman's dream to have a man pay lobola for her.I also remember having the same dreams , sitting next to my mother as she receive her fair share of the "money" or danga God knows what. Now i realize society applauds a man with female children more. Why? Because more money in the house. The monetization of bridal price has left us women to be commodities on the market..My father looks at me and all he sees is money and a truck full of cattle.,.I realized i do not need to feel like im being sold , i need to feel like we are building a union with my man.Why does it have to feel like he is buying me? Ok the buying process is over , you hear him saying , do this and that because i paid lobola for you..Is it then supposed to be like that? My learned friend then said,Rose , if you want to fight for equality start by refusing to be bought all under the guise of paying lobola..Where and how do we draw the line then that this man is symbolizing love or he is buying a "sex machine" or a housewife? At the end of the day it is difficult to understand but my friend is correct i do not want to be bought..I want him to symbolize his love!!!Too bad we cant really take the whole concept of bridal price away no matter what because it also serves as a trophy for our mothers who would have done a good job in raising us according to good norms and values but i fear such practice is slowly being corrupt by monetary desires.

BLACK VIOLET